Being single is often associated with negativity. Most single people appear to be a bit pissed at their situation in their pursuit for love. People who are in relationships appear to look at their single friends with undertones of sympathy. This classic portrayal is actually far from the truth, There are plenty of single people out their living their life like it’s golden (Jill Scott reference. Nice work Lex). There are also plenty of people in relationships who long for a taste of singledom. I don’t know if it’s my age or the crossroads I’m at in my life, but for the moment, I don’t look at people in relationships and think ‘I want that’. I’m too busy drinking Gin and listening to Waka Flocka Flame in my bedroom whilst planning trips around the world.
What I’m trying to get at is that being single is a precious Jewel. People who don’t enjoy it for what it is are really missing a trick. I mean, you never know when you’re about to get sucked into the vortex that is a relationship. I’m not slating relationships, they’re great, but they aren’t the be all and end all to happiness.
Dear single, miserable people, here’s a couple of little things to embrace while you’re still single, or in a relationship and considering joining the dark side.
Space – Relationships are lovely, especially when you’re in the honeymoon phase and you’re not interested in anything except being glued to that person at all times. However, when that starts to wear off and you think to yourself ‘you know what, tonight I’d like to just stay in, paint my nails and order 21 hot wings from Dominos to myself ‘. Us singles can enjoy that space whenever we like. Without having to make up an excuse for why you just want to be on your own for once.
Not sharing food – No, I want to eat the whole bag of Doritos to myself, at my own pace, get your own. This could just be me, but I fucking hate sharing food, especially when I’m watching a film. Tapas on a first date? Here’s a shovel, go dig your grave.
Freedom – It’s quite refreshing to think that I don’t know what I’m doing next Saturday night, I might wake up with a kebab on the pillow next to me, I might not wake up in my own bed at all. I might take off and visit a friend for the weekend. The point is that we don’t have to inform anyone that we’re doing these things nor have to justify our questionable life choices to anyone. The world’s our oyster.
Dating – Just to clarify, ‘Date night’ with your significant other is completely different to dating when you’re single. For me, dating is something to do to pass time so I have stories to tell my friends. It’s also great for boosting your confidence, and stops you from cowering in your single cave watching Netflix for hours and crying about why you’ve not met anyone. Some dates are good, some dates are bad, some are hilarious. All of them are character building.
Independence – This doesn’t apply to me, because I still live with my parents, don’t earn enough to pay them rent and could not support myself if the apron strings were cut. But there are loads of single people, killing it with their careers and loving the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle that has become possible for them. Respect.
Bed Space – My Dad recently went on a trip to Dubai and I have never seen Goose get so excited about how she was going to ‘lay like a starfish’ in bed. I’ve never really thought about it like that but I’m going to make a conscious effort to lap that shit up and lie diagonally in bed as much as is possible now.
Time – Having more time to spend with friends and family. When you’re in a relationship, you look back at times where you visited your Parents on your own, days you spent feeding the ducks with your Niece and the occasional magazine and wine party that extends into a raucous sleepover with your Sister. This time is precious, when you’re in a relationship, you have less time to do these things on your own. So remember to appreciate those precious moments.
Flirting – Sure, you can flirt when you’re in a relationship. But you can FLIRT when you’re single, this extends beyond letting a man buy you a drink in a bar before you flash him your wedding ring, go outside to call your husband and cry about your infidelities. Those pangs of guilt don’t happen when you’re single. You are free to flirt, text and talk to whoever you want after you’ve left said bar.
Being single isn’t always great, but don’t write it off before you’ve given it a go. These times are for investing in yourself and building your character until something more worthy than a few dinner dates and one night stands crops up. If you’re single and have read this, I hope I’ve inspired you to realise a little bit of your potential and given you some incentive to celebrate singledom.